Healthy
Healing Relationships
My
professional organization, Associated Massage and Bodywork
Professionals (ABMP), puts out several wonderful publications. Their issue of Massage & Bodywork (Sept/Oct 2015) has a very
important article in it. It is the
story of how one woman became involved in an abusive, sexual
relationship with a predatory body-worker, and I recommend anyone who
gets therapy, of any kind, to read it. We have worked hard in
Oregon and as a profession, to create systems for ensuring safety for
our clients and ourselves. For example: we have a vigorous Massage
Board to enforce laws, and therapists must display their license
number with any form of advertising.
That
of course does not preclude all problems, and there are many
wonderful modalities and practitioners that are not overseen by our
Massage Board. Indeed, licensing itself does not protect anyone from
unscrupulous nurses, doctors, or mechanics for that matter. But the
healing relationship is special. And with the growing influence of
alternative bodywork modalities, clients may have no clear idea of
what is considered appropriate and usual. The Encyclopedia of
Energy Medicine by Linnie Thomas lists well over 200 modalities,
and whether they have credentialing or not, your safety rests in your
hands, not the therapist's.
Whatever
the therapy, or therapist, you have engaged to help you heal, you
want to believe in it/them. You've entered this relationship with a
problem you need fixed and a hope that this person holds some answer
for you. This is the beginning of a power differential. The perceived
authority of the therapist, the difference in clothed and unclothed,
standing versus laying down, giving versus receiving, all add to the
subtle power inequality in any bodywork session. To protect clients
and therapists alike, a strong code of ethics and standards of care
are critical.
At the outset, your therapist should do an intake with you. What are
your goals for the session? What is the method that will be employed
and how does it work. Is the practitioner credentialed? By whom? What
can be expected. Will you be touched and where. All these questions
and much more go into what's called informed consent.
Let
me reiterate this, there is no consent without information. I
hear this from clients all the time: “you just do what you do.”
Nonetheless, I continue to inquire throughout the session as to their
comfort and needs, because consent is not given once.
Sometimes when people are
unclear where the appropriate boundary is, they defer to the
therapist because “they know what they are doing.”
Even if you're unsure why you're uncomfortable, stop the session and
ask questions. Consent that is given can be revoked at any
time.
There
are small things too, of course, in a session that may make you
uncomfortable. You can ask anytime to turn off/up/down the music, turn the heat up or down, open a window, ask for a blanket or adjust a bolster or face cradle. Any good therapist will know that your absolute comfort is essential to your healing and the success of the session. There's a wonderful world
of healers out there trained and able to help. To therapists and
clients alike I say: go forth, have fun, heal well and be safe.
Penny Hill may be reached at
or
